Wednesday, January 11, 2006
in my arms
Miles went to bed at his usual time tonight, and was quickly asleep. But he woke up an hour and half later, stumbling in his crib and crying. I went in and picked him up. He reached one arm up around my neck, lay his little head on my shoulder, and slipped right back to sleep. I waited for a moment, and then started to lift him back into bed. The shift from my arms to crib woke him, and he immediately stiffened. As his arms touched the mattress, he let out the saddest little cry. If a cry could speak, this one would say "No mama, hold me more." So back up into my arms he went, and he was quickly back asleep, head on my shoulder, warm little arm around my neck. He has a bit of a cold right now, and when he lies down he coughs. And this has been making sleep hard for him. So I wanted to hold him, and make it easier to rest. And as I held him I thought, "No one has ever wanted to sleep in my arms the way he does." (Not even my husband. He prefers to spend his time in my arms awake.) Almost makes me want to just lie down and hold him all night. (Almost, but not quite.) Such a feeling to be able to give this small person everything he wants: a breast to nurse from, a shoulder to lay his head on, and a heart to beat next to his.